Last night, I was bored. I was sleepy but I couldn't sleep. There were sounds of firecrackers every minute, some as close as the neighbor's backyard. Besides, my sister's kids and I had a no sleeping deal.
At midnight, we turned on all the lights and greeted each other a happy new year. We had our midnight meal of pansit and lechon with a dozen pieces of chico, about six calamansi and several pieces of banana as fruits on the table. Oh, there was also salad and cake, our sweet stuff. Then there was the traditional drink; apple and cramberry juice because my sister's kids were minors. Next year, we will be trying some light alcohol except for my nephew who is just sixteen.
And that was it. My niece remarked "That's it? That was the new year?" It was a lot quieter this year. There were no wonderful firework displays in the sky. It was a lean year.
Right now, I'm alone in the living room. I'm looking back at the year that was and it occurred to me. No, my situation suddenly fell on me. I'm tearful because I realized that my finances are in shambles. I owe the credit card company (though that has already been taken care of but I'm still paying). The preneed company is almost ready to close my account because of my neglect. Internal Revenue will probably send me a letter in a few weeks for personal and corporate taxes. And I find that I had put myself in this situation.
I knoe that this could be potentially read by so many people; people who know me and thought I was doing well. I know I had told some lies in the past just so I would not be the subject of questions and pity. But now, I'm the one giving myself these things. I have to ask the hard question of how the situation can be corrected. I have to find the answer to where I will source the funds. Right now, I am in tears because of guilt and self-pity.
This is the beginning of the rest of my life. Where do I go from here?
The Last Blog of the Year
I have been avoiding blogging because when I think of blogging, some political issues come to mind and that is not what I would like to put here. But for the last post of the year (and the first in a long time), I will close with my political views.
I have thoughts about the so-called presidentiables; some of them good while others are negative. I do have my choice but in this spot, I will remain neutral. Such is the freedom of thought and speech that we have that I could choose not to make a choice (just yet anyway). What I would rather express are my thoughts on our democratic process.
It is obvious that Filipinos as a people are still very clannish. A candidate for a national post is expected to win or do well in the place where his family hails from. Likewise, if he wins then he is also expected to do something good for "his people" or the very extended family expects to benefit as well from his victory. The elected is also expected to "reward" the areas where he posted a good lead. Such is the dynamic of gratitude in our political system. Was not that the case during the Marcos years?
In this election, as in the past, money will move; specially now that we are feeling the residual effects of the financial crisis felt in the developed nations. It is still very likely that some people will sell their vote to the highest bidder, hoping that the bid will be high enough to last them a week or so. Politics here is a business more than an ideology. If money goes out before elections then somehow there must be a way of recovering afterwards. If one wins and does not know how to play the game then money will continue to flow out of the pocket and one will find himself bankrupt at the end of his term. The story does not end there though. Even after your term, people will still expect you to be as generous as when you were in position. I have heard people on the bus before comparing the benefits they got from different political rallies.
We elect personalities. That is why we have so many political parites. If you examine their creeds, you will be likely to find that they are exhorting the same high level principles. Those creeds will probably not mention much that can be actuated directly. For instance, they might mention that theirbekgroup respects the rights of individuals at all levels and will support actions that promote the good of the majority. Yet they can not give you a definite stand on how to deal with squatters or whether gasoline prices should be regulated. So, we can not really choose the right candidate based on his stand on issues. Instead, we consider his family background more than past accomplishments. Look no further, Gloria Arroyo won her senate seat mainly because she was the daughter of a former president.
This evening, I pray fro change. I pray that we will have enough to eat so that we can think well for the future of our children. I pray that we will be well rested so that we can see beyond the
glitz of the campaign and really see where the candidate is likely to take us if he wins
I love my country and I pray that we will really elect the rightful servants. Remember, it is called PUBLIC SERVICE, it is not PUBLIC WILL SERVICE.
I have thoughts about the so-called presidentiables; some of them good while others are negative. I do have my choice but in this spot, I will remain neutral. Such is the freedom of thought and speech that we have that I could choose not to make a choice (just yet anyway). What I would rather express are my thoughts on our democratic process.
It is obvious that Filipinos as a people are still very clannish. A candidate for a national post is expected to win or do well in the place where his family hails from. Likewise, if he wins then he is also expected to do something good for "his people" or the very extended family expects to benefit as well from his victory. The elected is also expected to "reward" the areas where he posted a good lead. Such is the dynamic of gratitude in our political system. Was not that the case during the Marcos years?
In this election, as in the past, money will move; specially now that we are feeling the residual effects of the financial crisis felt in the developed nations. It is still very likely that some people will sell their vote to the highest bidder, hoping that the bid will be high enough to last them a week or so. Politics here is a business more than an ideology. If money goes out before elections then somehow there must be a way of recovering afterwards. If one wins and does not know how to play the game then money will continue to flow out of the pocket and one will find himself bankrupt at the end of his term. The story does not end there though. Even after your term, people will still expect you to be as generous as when you were in position. I have heard people on the bus before comparing the benefits they got from different political rallies.
We elect personalities. That is why we have so many political parites. If you examine their creeds, you will be likely to find that they are exhorting the same high level principles. Those creeds will probably not mention much that can be actuated directly. For instance, they might mention that theirbekgroup respects the rights of individuals at all levels and will support actions that promote the good of the majority. Yet they can not give you a definite stand on how to deal with squatters or whether gasoline prices should be regulated. So, we can not really choose the right candidate based on his stand on issues. Instead, we consider his family background more than past accomplishments. Look no further, Gloria Arroyo won her senate seat mainly because she was the daughter of a former president.
This evening, I pray fro change. I pray that we will have enough to eat so that we can think well for the future of our children. I pray that we will be well rested so that we can see beyond the
glitz of the campaign and really see where the candidate is likely to take us if he wins
I love my country and I pray that we will really elect the rightful servants. Remember, it is called PUBLIC SERVICE, it is not PUBLIC WILL SERVICE.
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