"Your issues are part of midlife"
That's what my supervisor told me. I do volunteer work on pastoral care and we have these supervision sessions. During these sessions, we discuss cases and how our personal state affected the case.
In every interaction, we bring part of ourselves. Nurses may be careful but edgy because of a problem. Therapists may be overly zealous after receiving good news. Even pastors may bring personal biases when they give their talks at the pulpit. People like me who work in the caring and helping profession simply have to be watchful.
Watchful. Great word. I have been watchful. In fact I have been watching the world more than being in it. Wallflowring is a pretty easy sport to practice but it can get boring sooner or later. There will come a point in life when you will realise that nothing really happens on the sidelines.
That time usually comes when you experience the so-called midlife crisis. That's when you start to look back to see what you've accomplished so far and try to take a peek at the future to see where you're going. Mind, I have accomplished a few things in my life but not the "great" things that I would have wanted.
It's time to cross out items on my bucket list.
Come to think of it, I never got around to making that bucket list. All I have are declarations of the things that I wanted to happen in my life. Somehow, committing these things to paper makes you commit to them as well.
So Item#1 on my bucket list: Complete the list of 100 things I will do before I die.
Starting With the Bang
As I write, I can still hear firecrackers way off. There were a lot this year and the show from the terrace was terrific.
We live close enough from where a TV network held its countdown so I was able to watch their fireworks display. It was a good five minute display
Yet there were other displays, not as long but equally engaging. It seemed we were surrounded by these fireworks displays. We ourselves could not engage in such for health reasons but it is always fun to watch.
It seemed like an auspicious start. May we all have a prosperous 2015!
We live close enough from where a TV network held its countdown so I was able to watch their fireworks display. It was a good five minute display
Yet there were other displays, not as long but equally engaging. It seemed we were surrounded by these fireworks displays. We ourselves could not engage in such for health reasons but it is always fun to watch.
It seemed like an auspicious start. May we all have a prosperous 2015!
After the Fact
Today I am supposed to be at a seminar entitled Pagyakap sa Buhay. The main speaker is a cancer survivor if I remember correctly who will talk about his faith experience and how it helped him through the rough times. I am supposed to be there but I am not.
This is my first real blog entry since my mother died. While I was alone in the funeral chapel, I wrote about my feelings and observations. After the burial, it became a different story.
A friend whose mother died a few years back showed me an article she wrote about her own experience coping with her loss. I told her I read it but I only perused it. I guess I am still not in the acceptance stage.
It's not that I deny my mother's death. I wear a black pin to announce the fact. My mind and my heart have long been convinced. Maybe there are still some regrets that I have not dealt with... Maybe there are still things that I would have wanted to tell her but did not.
Maybe I should have gone to that seminar.
Maybe I am just not ready yet.
This is my first real blog entry since my mother died. While I was alone in the funeral chapel, I wrote about my feelings and observations. After the burial, it became a different story.
A friend whose mother died a few years back showed me an article she wrote about her own experience coping with her loss. I told her I read it but I only perused it. I guess I am still not in the acceptance stage.
It's not that I deny my mother's death. I wear a black pin to announce the fact. My mind and my heart have long been convinced. Maybe there are still some regrets that I have not dealt with... Maybe there are still things that I would have wanted to tell her but did not.
Maybe I should have gone to that seminar.
Maybe I am just not ready yet.
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