We buried my mother last Thursday. Frankly, it was surreal somewhat.
We transported her from the city to her hometown early Wednesday morning. Before that, we worked on the papers. There was a minor glitch but thanks to my cousin Noemi, things worked out according to schedule.
We had a one night viewing for relatives in the area. My mother's only sister was still living there and it was really primarily for her that we had the viewing. My father is buried there which is why we decided to do the same for Mama.
On the morning of Thursday, we started out quite early. We had a quick breakfast then got dressed. My sister, brother and the rest of the family decided we wanted to dress in white not black. We did the same for Papa nearly 30 years ago.
A mass was scheduled for 10 a.m. but the funeral parlor staff was already at the house by 8 a.m. So we started the ball rolling. Being quite experienced, they had the lights, the flowers and the coffin loaded in less than 10 minutes. We began to walk the three or so kilometers to the church
My sister had talked to the funeral home staff earlier about the music. She specifically said that she did not want to hear traditional funeral music like Ave Maria and Oh My Mama to be blaring out of the chaise. Well, it turned out that their choice of music was agreeable to us. We actually enjoyed our walk while we sang along with the music coming from the car in front of us.
Onlookers must have been wondering about us. We were obviously the family of the deceased because we were the ones walking directly behind the funeral car. Apparently, we were enjoying the funeral march. We were laughing and singing as we walked. We were also sight seeing and pointing out spots to my brother in-law, sister in-law and nephew who were with us.
Death does not have to be sad, specially if the dead has lived a long full life. I learned that from Akiro Kurosawa's movie Dreams. My mother was two weeks shy of her 83rd birthday when she breath her last. That, I suppose was long enough.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Some Kind of Newness
We are still at Loyola Memorial Chapels. We move Mama to Pangasinan early tomorrow morning. Wehave announced that and so this is considered the last night for viewing her remains. At midnight, the place is still full of people.
Some funny things that happened here. First is that, well the noise level is so high, it's echoing. People are discussing everything but death.. Laughter is in the air. Even we are laughing.
Tradition would say a wake should be solemn and people should be prayerful. Tradition says a lot of things that should not be done during and after the wke and the funeral. Some of them may have been born out of coincidence but most of them were crafted based o fear.
But really tradition is not static and it can be changed. We do crete new traditions everyday. Clinging to old practices shows the same fear we face when we dread death itself; the fear of the unknown.
So, can we take a bath while we are having a wake for a family member? Yes, we did although not at the site of the wake even if there was a shower stall there. It's simply not convenient.
Can we clean the place where the dead lies? Sure, the funeral home swept and mopped the floor everyday.
Should we not meet guests and walk them to the door? That's just being polite.
These then are the other reasons for starting traditions; positivity.
Some funny things that happened here. First is that, well the noise level is so high, it's echoing. People are discussing everything but death.. Laughter is in the air. Even we are laughing.
Tradition would say a wake should be solemn and people should be prayerful. Tradition says a lot of things that should not be done during and after the wke and the funeral. Some of them may have been born out of coincidence but most of them were crafted based o fear.
But really tradition is not static and it can be changed. We do crete new traditions everyday. Clinging to old practices shows the same fear we face when we dread death itself; the fear of the unknown.
So, can we take a bath while we are having a wake for a family member? Yes, we did although not at the site of the wake even if there was a shower stall there. It's simply not convenient.
Can we clean the place where the dead lies? Sure, the funeral home swept and mopped the floor everyday.
Should we not meet guests and walk them to the door? That's just being polite.
These then are the other reasons for starting traditions; positivity.
Small vrs Big
I am alone again where my mom's remains i right now. My sister has to go and work on some papers for the interment, and also get some supplies. My brother is still on his way home from abroad.
If we were a bigger family, there would be more people working on stuff. We would not be so tired at the end of the day. No guests would be ignored which was what happened earlier. I had two sets of guests but I can't talk to all of them at the same time because they have different interests
On the other hand, some things are simpler with fewer siblings Decisions can be made faster as there are fewer opinions to consider We easily agreed on final arrangements.
In bigger families too, they wait for everybody before things can be finalized. Is everybody coming home for the burial? Who will be in charge of what? How will everybody be transported,
In our case, division of labor is simple, /Arrangements were decided on quickly, Aside from being small in size, I guess our heads were in the right paces, We did not let emotion get the better of us,
Not yet anyway.
If we were a bigger family, there would be more people working on stuff. We would not be so tired at the end of the day. No guests would be ignored which was what happened earlier. I had two sets of guests but I can't talk to all of them at the same time because they have different interests
On the other hand, some things are simpler with fewer siblings Decisions can be made faster as there are fewer opinions to consider We easily agreed on final arrangements.
In bigger families too, they wait for everybody before things can be finalized. Is everybody coming home for the burial? Who will be in charge of what? How will everybody be transported,
In our case, division of labor is simple, /Arrangements were decided on quickly, Aside from being small in size, I guess our heads were in the right paces, We did not let emotion get the better of us,
Not yet anyway.
On Mortality
I am in the middle of a cemetery.
Sure, it's a park There are wide open spaces covered with grass. There are trees lining the wide streets. The place is well lighted even at night. I have a cozy space with a loft, a fridge and a bathroom. Still, it's a memorial park; a cemetery.
Places like this make me think of my own death. When will it happen? How will I go? Who will be there for me?
Two nights ago, I was at a friend's wake. The priest officiating the mass talked about a fear that comes to all of us. This was about our fear of the unknown. He mentioned that many of us at the end of our lives cling to it because we don't know what happens after we die So we wish to stay in this world that is familiar to us.
The priest that anointed my mother also said something similar He said our mind keeps on fighting even as our body can no longer go on. We want to think that we continue with life but the flesh has already given up
My mother died fighting for life She tried to gulp the air. She tried to respond to our pleas.
Yet there will always be an end to this life
Sure, it's a park There are wide open spaces covered with grass. There are trees lining the wide streets. The place is well lighted even at night. I have a cozy space with a loft, a fridge and a bathroom. Still, it's a memorial park; a cemetery.
Places like this make me think of my own death. When will it happen? How will I go? Who will be there for me?
Two nights ago, I was at a friend's wake. The priest officiating the mass talked about a fear that comes to all of us. This was about our fear of the unknown. He mentioned that many of us at the end of our lives cling to it because we don't know what happens after we die So we wish to stay in this world that is familiar to us.
The priest that anointed my mother also said something similar He said our mind keeps on fighting even as our body can no longer go on. We want to think that we continue with life but the flesh has already given up
My mother died fighting for life She tried to gulp the air. She tried to respond to our pleas.
Yet there will always be an end to this life
Death in the Family
My mother died yesterday at around 1:30 in the afternoon. We rushed her to the hospital but she was pronounced dead on arrival. The emergency room staff tried to revive her but it was useless.
She had been dying for some tim. She fell and knocked her head a couple of weeks ago. But that only speeded up the deterioration. It was actually the diabetes that was getting her. She had been refusing to see a doctor other than her last one who retired. She passed away two weeks short of her 83rd birthday.
Since last year I had been bargaining with God to keep her with us until 2015. The reason was practical rather than emotional or spiritual. I was saving up for a nice plot in a memorial park where we would bury her and move my father By then too, my brother would be back here after he gets his master's degree from Yale and my sister's kids would both be graduating from college. She would die happy and we would be more prepared.
God answered me with a question. Was I willing to take care of her for that long a time? I was also looking for somebody to take care of her on a full time basis. My excuse was that I needed to keep working t support her needs and mine. The real answer was no because I was wrestling with issues between the two of us A recent retreat in Antipolo helped me face that and I have resolved it to myself three weeks ago.
On the morning she died, my cousin was still here. She was supposed to leave early while my sister had some things to do so they were supposed to wake me up early to stay by her side. Neither of them did what they were supposed to. Mama was breathing hard. They had placed her on the rocking chair to raise her head. My sister was beginning to cry,
My sister eventually went out to get some medicine and look for a priest. She came back with the medicine and the priest Mama received the anointing of the sick and I was actually answering for her. It was actually at that point that I had decided to give her up.
While we were watching her, I noticed her hands and feet were cold. I looked and noticed her fingers were a bit blue. We tried massaging her arms and legs but it was really no use. The digits were still cold.
Her breathing was getting shallower. Her mouth was open We tried our best to keep her awake but she was slipping. Until we went to the hospital, we exerted all efforts. As the priest said, her mind will want to stay alive even as her body gives up.
I am at peace. I don't know if and when I will cry but I know I can go on
Thank you Mama and thank you God
She had been dying for some tim. She fell and knocked her head a couple of weeks ago. But that only speeded up the deterioration. It was actually the diabetes that was getting her. She had been refusing to see a doctor other than her last one who retired. She passed away two weeks short of her 83rd birthday.
Since last year I had been bargaining with God to keep her with us until 2015. The reason was practical rather than emotional or spiritual. I was saving up for a nice plot in a memorial park where we would bury her and move my father By then too, my brother would be back here after he gets his master's degree from Yale and my sister's kids would both be graduating from college. She would die happy and we would be more prepared.
God answered me with a question. Was I willing to take care of her for that long a time? I was also looking for somebody to take care of her on a full time basis. My excuse was that I needed to keep working t support her needs and mine. The real answer was no because I was wrestling with issues between the two of us A recent retreat in Antipolo helped me face that and I have resolved it to myself three weeks ago.
On the morning she died, my cousin was still here. She was supposed to leave early while my sister had some things to do so they were supposed to wake me up early to stay by her side. Neither of them did what they were supposed to. Mama was breathing hard. They had placed her on the rocking chair to raise her head. My sister was beginning to cry,
My sister eventually went out to get some medicine and look for a priest. She came back with the medicine and the priest Mama received the anointing of the sick and I was actually answering for her. It was actually at that point that I had decided to give her up.
While we were watching her, I noticed her hands and feet were cold. I looked and noticed her fingers were a bit blue. We tried massaging her arms and legs but it was really no use. The digits were still cold.
Her breathing was getting shallower. Her mouth was open We tried our best to keep her awake but she was slipping. Until we went to the hospital, we exerted all efforts. As the priest said, her mind will want to stay alive even as her body gives up.
I am at peace. I don't know if and when I will cry but I know I can go on
Thank you Mama and thank you God
Deaths in the House
Under the watch of Sonny Belmonte as Speaker of the House, the Philippine Congress has already lost a couple of honorable gentlemen (at least as far as I know). Interestingly, both were last termers who would not be joining the race next year. The first one was Antonio Diaz of Zambales who died of complications last August. Now, Iggy Arroyo has also been visited by the grim reaper.
The gentleman from Zambales left before half of his term was completed. Thus, upon the petition of the provincial council of Zambales, COMELEC agreed to finding a replacement. Next Saturday, the voting population of the 2nd district of Zambales will be trooping to the polls to choose their representative in Congress.
And the lineup is interesting. Politics is in the family in this seaside province. Three of the top contenders just happen to be children of provincial stalwarts. There is Omar who is the provincial administrator appointed by his governor father who has served as cabinet secretary and high ranking policeman under the Arroyo administration.
Voters would be familiar with Sheryl who has thrice run and lost against Congressman Diaz. She just happens to be the daughter of the former governor, the one that the current one replaced.
Then there is the political newcomer, Rica. She is in the race because her father, the recently deceased congressman had indicated that she would be the best one for the job.
So it's looking like a three cornered fight for the privilege to take over Congressman Diaz's seat.
So, will the 5th district of Negros Occidental get the same privilege as the 2nd district of Zambales?
The gentleman from Zambales left before half of his term was completed. Thus, upon the petition of the provincial council of Zambales, COMELEC agreed to finding a replacement. Next Saturday, the voting population of the 2nd district of Zambales will be trooping to the polls to choose their representative in Congress.
And the lineup is interesting. Politics is in the family in this seaside province. Three of the top contenders just happen to be children of provincial stalwarts. There is Omar who is the provincial administrator appointed by his governor father who has served as cabinet secretary and high ranking policeman under the Arroyo administration.
Voters would be familiar with Sheryl who has thrice run and lost against Congressman Diaz. She just happens to be the daughter of the former governor, the one that the current one replaced.
Then there is the political newcomer, Rica. She is in the race because her father, the recently deceased congressman had indicated that she would be the best one for the job.
So it's looking like a three cornered fight for the privilege to take over Congressman Diaz's seat.
So, will the 5th district of Negros Occidental get the same privilege as the 2nd district of Zambales?
Passing of the Guard
October 2011 saw three pioneers pass on to the next life. First, there was Apple founder Steve Jobs. A few days later, we receive news of the death of C and Unix creator Dennis Ritchie. A couple of days ago, AI pioneer John McCarthy moves on as well.
These men applied their talents to move the computer industry forward. Their deaths are not really losses because they have lived their lives well. True, such occasions are cause for sorrow, specially for their loved ones. However, we are thankful for their contributions to this industry.
Their influences are not to be compared. In the world of computers, coopetition is very evident. We build on each other's success.
The question is, what are you contributing to forward the industry?
These men applied their talents to move the computer industry forward. Their deaths are not really losses because they have lived their lives well. True, such occasions are cause for sorrow, specially for their loved ones. However, we are thankful for their contributions to this industry.
Their influences are not to be compared. In the world of computers, coopetition is very evident. We build on each other's success.
The question is, what are you contributing to forward the industry?
Death of the Icons
My sister told me that there was some news about Farah Fawcett last night but she did not give details. I was waiting for that this morning. Instead, I got a flash report about Michael Jackson.
Farah, one of the original Charlie's Angels may have started the very eighties trend of big hair. As far as I can remember, she was the first I saw with the huge curls on her head. Many girls copied that and soon big hair became the fashion. Even in later years she worked to keep her bombshell figure.
Michael jackson is of course known as the king of pop music. His successes and mistakes have been entertainment headline since I was a kid. Personally, I think he missed his childhood and tried to get it back with his ranch and playing with kids.
Now they are both dead, just a few days after another 70s legend David Carradine passed away. It's like somebody is turning the giant page of history and the decade is slowly disappearing from sight.
And tiem marches on
Farah, one of the original Charlie's Angels may have started the very eighties trend of big hair. As far as I can remember, she was the first I saw with the huge curls on her head. Many girls copied that and soon big hair became the fashion. Even in later years she worked to keep her bombshell figure.
Michael jackson is of course known as the king of pop music. His successes and mistakes have been entertainment headline since I was a kid. Personally, I think he missed his childhood and tried to get it back with his ranch and playing with kids.
Now they are both dead, just a few days after another 70s legend David Carradine passed away. It's like somebody is turning the giant page of history and the decade is slowly disappearing from sight.
And tiem marches on
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