We buried my mother last Thursday. Frankly, it was surreal somewhat.
We transported her from the city to her hometown early Wednesday morning. Before that, we worked on the papers. There was a minor glitch but thanks to my cousin Noemi, things worked out according to schedule.
We had a one night viewing for relatives in the area. My mother's only sister was still living there and it was really primarily for her that we had the viewing. My father is buried there which is why we decided to do the same for Mama.
On the morning of Thursday, we started out quite early. We had a quick breakfast then got dressed. My sister, brother and the rest of the family decided we wanted to dress in white not black. We did the same for Papa nearly 30 years ago.
A mass was scheduled for 10 a.m. but the funeral parlor staff was already at the house by 8 a.m. So we started the ball rolling. Being quite experienced, they had the lights, the flowers and the coffin loaded in less than 10 minutes. We began to walk the three or so kilometers to the church
My sister had talked to the funeral home staff earlier about the music. She specifically said that she did not want to hear traditional funeral music like Ave Maria and Oh My Mama to be blaring out of the chaise. Well, it turned out that their choice of music was agreeable to us. We actually enjoyed our walk while we sang along with the music coming from the car in front of us.
Onlookers must have been wondering about us. We were obviously the family of the deceased because we were the ones walking directly behind the funeral car. Apparently, we were enjoying the funeral march. We were laughing and singing as we walked. We were also sight seeing and pointing out spots to my brother in-law, sister in-law and nephew who were with us.
Death does not have to be sad, specially if the dead has lived a long full life. I learned that from Akiro Kurosawa's movie Dreams. My mother was two weeks shy of her 83rd birthday when she breath her last. That, I suppose was long enough.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Small vrs Big
I am alone again where my mom's remains i right now. My sister has to go and work on some papers for the interment, and also get some supplies. My brother is still on his way home from abroad.
If we were a bigger family, there would be more people working on stuff. We would not be so tired at the end of the day. No guests would be ignored which was what happened earlier. I had two sets of guests but I can't talk to all of them at the same time because they have different interests
On the other hand, some things are simpler with fewer siblings Decisions can be made faster as there are fewer opinions to consider We easily agreed on final arrangements.
In bigger families too, they wait for everybody before things can be finalized. Is everybody coming home for the burial? Who will be in charge of what? How will everybody be transported,
In our case, division of labor is simple, /Arrangements were decided on quickly, Aside from being small in size, I guess our heads were in the right paces, We did not let emotion get the better of us,
Not yet anyway.
If we were a bigger family, there would be more people working on stuff. We would not be so tired at the end of the day. No guests would be ignored which was what happened earlier. I had two sets of guests but I can't talk to all of them at the same time because they have different interests
On the other hand, some things are simpler with fewer siblings Decisions can be made faster as there are fewer opinions to consider We easily agreed on final arrangements.
In bigger families too, they wait for everybody before things can be finalized. Is everybody coming home for the burial? Who will be in charge of what? How will everybody be transported,
In our case, division of labor is simple, /Arrangements were decided on quickly, Aside from being small in size, I guess our heads were in the right paces, We did not let emotion get the better of us,
Not yet anyway.
Death in the Family
My mother died yesterday at around 1:30 in the afternoon. We rushed her to the hospital but she was pronounced dead on arrival. The emergency room staff tried to revive her but it was useless.
She had been dying for some tim. She fell and knocked her head a couple of weeks ago. But that only speeded up the deterioration. It was actually the diabetes that was getting her. She had been refusing to see a doctor other than her last one who retired. She passed away two weeks short of her 83rd birthday.
Since last year I had been bargaining with God to keep her with us until 2015. The reason was practical rather than emotional or spiritual. I was saving up for a nice plot in a memorial park where we would bury her and move my father By then too, my brother would be back here after he gets his master's degree from Yale and my sister's kids would both be graduating from college. She would die happy and we would be more prepared.
God answered me with a question. Was I willing to take care of her for that long a time? I was also looking for somebody to take care of her on a full time basis. My excuse was that I needed to keep working t support her needs and mine. The real answer was no because I was wrestling with issues between the two of us A recent retreat in Antipolo helped me face that and I have resolved it to myself three weeks ago.
On the morning she died, my cousin was still here. She was supposed to leave early while my sister had some things to do so they were supposed to wake me up early to stay by her side. Neither of them did what they were supposed to. Mama was breathing hard. They had placed her on the rocking chair to raise her head. My sister was beginning to cry,
My sister eventually went out to get some medicine and look for a priest. She came back with the medicine and the priest Mama received the anointing of the sick and I was actually answering for her. It was actually at that point that I had decided to give her up.
While we were watching her, I noticed her hands and feet were cold. I looked and noticed her fingers were a bit blue. We tried massaging her arms and legs but it was really no use. The digits were still cold.
Her breathing was getting shallower. Her mouth was open We tried our best to keep her awake but she was slipping. Until we went to the hospital, we exerted all efforts. As the priest said, her mind will want to stay alive even as her body gives up.
I am at peace. I don't know if and when I will cry but I know I can go on
Thank you Mama and thank you God
She had been dying for some tim. She fell and knocked her head a couple of weeks ago. But that only speeded up the deterioration. It was actually the diabetes that was getting her. She had been refusing to see a doctor other than her last one who retired. She passed away two weeks short of her 83rd birthday.
Since last year I had been bargaining with God to keep her with us until 2015. The reason was practical rather than emotional or spiritual. I was saving up for a nice plot in a memorial park where we would bury her and move my father By then too, my brother would be back here after he gets his master's degree from Yale and my sister's kids would both be graduating from college. She would die happy and we would be more prepared.
God answered me with a question. Was I willing to take care of her for that long a time? I was also looking for somebody to take care of her on a full time basis. My excuse was that I needed to keep working t support her needs and mine. The real answer was no because I was wrestling with issues between the two of us A recent retreat in Antipolo helped me face that and I have resolved it to myself three weeks ago.
On the morning she died, my cousin was still here. She was supposed to leave early while my sister had some things to do so they were supposed to wake me up early to stay by her side. Neither of them did what they were supposed to. Mama was breathing hard. They had placed her on the rocking chair to raise her head. My sister was beginning to cry,
My sister eventually went out to get some medicine and look for a priest. She came back with the medicine and the priest Mama received the anointing of the sick and I was actually answering for her. It was actually at that point that I had decided to give her up.
While we were watching her, I noticed her hands and feet were cold. I looked and noticed her fingers were a bit blue. We tried massaging her arms and legs but it was really no use. The digits were still cold.
Her breathing was getting shallower. Her mouth was open We tried our best to keep her awake but she was slipping. Until we went to the hospital, we exerted all efforts. As the priest said, her mind will want to stay alive even as her body gives up.
I am at peace. I don't know if and when I will cry but I know I can go on
Thank you Mama and thank you God
Let's Celebrate
Yesterday, we had a family reunion. My brother who is studying abroad came home for the holidays and he brought his family over to the house for lunch. My niece who is studying in another city was also home for the holidays.
My sister decided to cook pansit for the occassion. It was already our midnight meal but she cooked enough to last us a few more days. I had planned to get ice cream cake which my nephew volunteered to buy for me (he just wanted a reason to go out). My brother brought some roasted liempo. We also had ham, cheese and a whole chicken cooked in the turbo oven.
The highlight was the baby. My brother's youngest turned one in September and is only beginning to run. She is curious about a lot of things and stares to observe what is going on around her.
The wonderful thing was that she was in a good mood yesterday. She smiled. She laughed. She hammed it up for the camera.
And she even danced! When some hiphop music played on the radio, she would raise her arms and sway about. If she was sitted, she would still raise her hands and sway her head.
My sister decided to cook pansit for the occassion. It was already our midnight meal but she cooked enough to last us a few more days. I had planned to get ice cream cake which my nephew volunteered to buy for me (he just wanted a reason to go out). My brother brought some roasted liempo. We also had ham, cheese and a whole chicken cooked in the turbo oven.
The highlight was the baby. My brother's youngest turned one in September and is only beginning to run. She is curious about a lot of things and stares to observe what is going on around her.
The wonderful thing was that she was in a good mood yesterday. She smiled. She laughed. She hammed it up for the camera.
And she even danced! When some hiphop music played on the radio, she would raise her arms and sway about. If she was sitted, she would still raise her hands and sway her head.
Doing Business
I went to my family's hometown yesterday. I had this idea that I was going to sell a few Human Nature products. Well, yes and no.
On the way there, I realized I had made some not very good business decision. I did not take with me key products that are useful for traveling.
Behind me sat a small family with a child about five years old, a tweener and two teens. It occurred to me that maybe they would have been interested in a bug spray since they were going to a place that was new to the kids. Well, I didn't bring any of that with me. If I did, I could have turned around and showed it to them and maybe they would have bought it on the spot. With that, I could have handed them a flyer (of which I had a few) and mentioned the other products.
On the way back, I also sat near a small family. I got to talk to the mother and decided to turn her into a dealer for me in Pangasinan.
I hope I got that right.
On the way there, I realized I had made some not very good business decision. I did not take with me key products that are useful for traveling.
Behind me sat a small family with a child about five years old, a tweener and two teens. It occurred to me that maybe they would have been interested in a bug spray since they were going to a place that was new to the kids. Well, I didn't bring any of that with me. If I did, I could have turned around and showed it to them and maybe they would have bought it on the spot. With that, I could have handed them a flyer (of which I had a few) and mentioned the other products.
On the way back, I also sat near a small family. I got to talk to the mother and decided to turn her into a dealer for me in Pangasinan.
I hope I got that right.
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